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Poem #1 - Poem #2


by Dick Schmelzkopf
© 2003

A lot of things can happen in darters hell.
The Juju can cast on you a spell.
You can have a little beer when you're down in hell.
But it's warm, flat and watery, and it tastes just a bit skunky. This does not ring the bell.
Dalton comes from a whole different direction. Out of Jack is most certainly hell.
In this place a little shooter of black jack sure would be swell.
Dalton asked the devil for a little taste.
The devil said I'll drink it myself, to give it to you would be a terrible waste.
On blind draws you always get Dick.
Always get Dick, that would make ya sick.
How about catching Joe or Rog that would be the trick.
There are a lot of gals that can hit that trip twenty or double bull with just a flick.
Donnie has been known to throw a dart or two.
In hell the ton eighty eludes him. Man that makes him blue.
Donnie said to the devil my attorney will see you and we'll sue.
The devil looked at Donnie and laughed. We've got lots of lawyers here, pick two and sue; you'll still be blue
Roger says never, never shoot for the double.
Now he can't hit a double to go out, man is he in trouble.
He throws a hundred darts trying to double in, that will burst his bubble.
His whole dart game is nothing but rubble.
Bonnie is trying to get the dart letter out.
There is nothing happening no good or bad news besides that she's having a word drought.
No marriages, divorces, ton eighty's, or count of nine.
Lucifer sneers and says write about our wonderful beers we also have some fine wine.
Joe is still doing the stats, they are always wrong and that drives him bats.
He still throws a dart or two but every time he throws he always says rats.
In the board they won't stick, he always hits the wire.
The devil says that's okay Joe; you're in an eternal mire.
Mary Jane still does the blind draw.
Folks try to bribe her to draw a top-flight shooter; she says I'll get the darter, that's the law.
The devil looks at her and gives a big guffaw.
Nobody gets an ace shooters there is not a dart thrower here that would hold you in awe.
Tim would be in hell when there are no shooter glasses left.
I can hear him now no shooter of tequila, how can I throw my darts with deft?
The guy with the horns and pointy tail. Would sneer at him and rail.
Drink your tequila out of that spittoon; a drinking vessel is a minor detail.
If all that is hell what is heaven?
Jean and Butch would say as long as they are together that's livin.
Mark would say my team is the Moonlighters that's a given.
To trophies and gold medals that's how Mark is driven.
Chick would say let me play Dick I'll have bourbon forever.
Dick would say that dart hustler again, I will endeavor.
Joe and Martha would be happy as long as they have a dart to throw.
They just want to be with their friends, glow and go with the flow.
Roberts been known to hit the board once in a while.
He throws three darts with incredible style.
Cathy has been known to toss a dart or two,
When she throws she's never blue.
The beer is cold you can have all you can drink.
Saint Peter the gatekeeper will serve you in a wink.
The black jack is endless and comes out of a tap.
To get another jack is just a snap.
Don't worry Joe the stats are always in on time and they are always correct.
JC himself checks the numbers they are always right and nothing to suspect.
MJ concern yourself not, were all A-players, we like it a lot.
We're all top-flight shooters we can shoot the shot.
Donnie is back shooting ton eighties with ease.
He throws them in there just as nice as you please.
Roger doubles in and doubles out with just one dart.
Now that makes him look like he's awfully smart.
Bonnie's got a passel of ideas, she says dart letters are fun.
She says the next time I do it I'll do it at the beach and get some sun.
Our sub list is rather special; we've got JC, and Gabe with his horn.
Mary has been known to throw a good dart; most say she's even better than her first born.
So you see from this heaven is the place to go.
The beer is cold and nothing is slow.
We'll all be stars there are no trials.
All your dart friends will be there with smiles.